“Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute
you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.” Matthew 5:11
I’ve been very hesitant to write a post in regards to the
abuse, mistreatment and horror our family has been put through by the leaders
of the LDS Church. Perhaps it’s because when
we’ve shared even a small portion with close family and other friends we can
tell they don’t believe us and don’t want to hear it. Maybe it’s because I’m trying to forgive and
move forward and I don’t want to dig at a healing scab. It could be that I’m
still in shock that the Church that we gave our entire heart and soul to would
turn on us like it has. More than likely it is because I’ve moved on to a new
chapter where I am free and I have peace. Nevertheless, I feel compelled today to
write this down.
A few years ago the bishop of our ward called my husband to come in. We felt
it a bit strange that I wasn’t called in also. When my husband arrived another
well respected man in our ward was leaving, a man we consider a great friend. When
my husband left his interview another highly respected man entered.
As my husband entered the bishop’s office he immediately felt
an uneasy spirit. The bishop asked my husband to offer a word of prayer. While praying, my husband was distinctly told
by God that the bishop was judging him and his spirituality through his prayer.
My husband gave the most powerful prayer
he’s ever uttered. Once finished the interview/interrogation went something
like this:
Bishop: “Someone in the ward has gone to the stake president
with accusations against you.”
Husband: “Who is my accuser?”
Bishop: “That’s not necessary for you to know. And, just so you know, I have
the spirit of discernment and I will know if you are lying to me.”
The Bishop then proceeded to ask the following questions,
which in my journal I described as insane:
Bishop: “Do you make
your own wine?”
Husband:“No”
Bishop: “Do you drink
alcohol?”
Husband:“I’ve never touched alcohol and I don’t even drink caffeine”
Bishop: “Have you built
an altar?”
At this
point my husband recalled being at his friend’s house, the man he saw leaving
as he came in, where he saw a photo album full of pictures of piles of
rocks. Suddenly my husband knew that
this interrogation was really about his friend and he said to the bishop, “This
is about so and so, isn’t it? Let me
tell you that he is one of the most valiant and respected men that I know. You’re new to this ward so you don’t know
him, but trust me, you have nothing to fear from this man.”
Bishop: “Do you attend
study groups?”
Husband:“Can you define study groups, because I love the
gospel of Jesus Christ and I talk about it with everyone, everywhere I go.”
Bishop: “Do you have a
testimony?”
Husband:“Yes!” at this point my husband bore testimony of
the restored gospel and of Jesus Christ.
Bishop: “Do you sustain
the First Presidency and Apostles?”
Husband:“yes! Bishop, this is very disturbing to me, who would accuse me of this? I have a right to know who has accused me of
these things.”
Bishop: “It is not necessary for you to know.”
During this series of questions my husband had the distinct
feeling that the bishop did not believe him, especially since the bishop kept
patting his knee and saying “I’ll know if you’re lying to me.”
My husband returned home, stunned and hurt beyond belief
that someone in the ward would accuse him of such behavior. He was also stunned at the malice leveled at our family. He asked me to go on a drive where he poured
out his wounded heart. He was devastated;
I was angry and in shock. After driving
around for an hour or so my husband felt the need to go and visit his friend
who he had seen leaving the bishop’s office. Little did we know that the bishop
had someone spying on this man’s house and it was reported back to him that my
husband came to visit and how long he had stayed. Later we would learn that the bishop used
this information to convince others that we were part of an “apostate group”.
Two weeks after this initial interview my husband was called
in to meet with the stake president of the local single’s stake. The interview was amazing. They were considering calling my husband to
serve in the stake high council. We felt
strongly that this was an olive branch which God was extending as a balm to my
husband’s battered soul. Unfortunately,
the spirit also communicated to us that because of the false accusations our bishop
had levied against us this calling would be retracted. (Later, we found out
that this did come to pass exactly as the Lord revealed).
Three and a half weeks after the initial interview we awoke
on a Saturday morning with plans to attend the temple that evening. As we were going about our day the executive
secretary called me and asked me to come in for an interview the following
morning. We both what this meant. I was overcome with nausea. I could not imagine who would accuse us of
this kind of behavior. We loved the Lord
and we loved the Church. We were strictly obedient to the commandments and we
followed the prophet. I was encompassed
with fear, almost paralyzed with it. I feared that the end goal for the bishop was to have us excommunicated.
As I sat in the temple the Spirit of the Lord filled me and
infused me. Christ visited me. I asked Him to help us in this situation with
our bishop. Immediately I was shown some things in regards to our bishop.
Sunday morning I awoke about 3 am, I could not sleep for
worry. I began praying in earnest, God revealed
to me that it doesn’t matter what I say, the bishop will never believe me
because he is our accuser and will never admit he was wrong. It was also revealed to me that our bishop is
using this opportunity of bringing down an “apostate” group to get noticed by
the chief seats in Salt Lake.
I was afraid to enter the bishop’s office, mainly because of
what was revealed to me the previous day.
I asked my husband to come in with me, but as he prayed about it he felt
that he should stand just outside the door, but not enter in.
“God-I need you today more than ever-speak through me,
humble me, help me to be kind, gentle and meek, lowly of heart, slow to anger
and quick to forgive. I love you and I
need you with me today.”
I thank God from all my being. He opened my mouth and spoke through me. He gave me perspective, kindness, gentleness
and confidence. I spoke with the bishop for
about 45 min., toward the end of our meeting he asked me how my testimony is, I
replied, “stronger than ever, I have felt Christ with me and aware of me more
this year than ever before.”
I knew that this was not over. I knew that the bishop had been spreading
throughout ward and stake leadership, his own family and his friends the false
accusations against us. We began to be
shunned by most everyone in the ward. We were put in a calling teaching youth
Sunday School (which became our favorite calling because we could teach
scripture and teach about Jesus Christ without any adults watching over us). I
was put in a visiting teaching companionship with the former stake president’s
wife so she could make sure I wasn’t teaching apostasy. My husband was released from home teaching
his favorite families. Eventually, over a period time, we
were released from all of our callings with various excuses. We
were slowly, “unofficially” dis-fellowshipped.
Our children were brought in for birthday interviews or
advancement interviews and interrogated in regards to what we believe and what
we teach them in our home. Our children
were asked to give the bishop the names of friends who came to visit at our
home. One day we found out that the
executive secretary sat in his car across the street from our house and
reported to the bishop anyone who came over. If they were ward members they were
brought into the bishop’s office where they were interrogated as to what things
we had talked about. Eventually we found
out that this was why no one talked to us anymore at church, because if the bishop
saw them visiting with us they were brought in, interrogated and then warned to
stay away from us.
We were miserable and had no hope that things would get
better. One day our young son was
interrogated under the guise of a temple recommend interview and it was the last straw.
We called up the stake president and made an appointment to go in for a visit. We wrote down all the things that had been
being said about us and the things God had revealed to us in regards to our
bishop and these false accusations. We found
out that Elder Pyper of the Seventy was behind the interrogations. At least, that
is who they blamed. The stake president
said, “we did not believe the husband’s so I went to Elder Pyper for advice and
he said to bring in the wives because they’ll rat out their husbands”. A week later, during ward conference, things
we had shared with the stake president in confidence were shared by the bishop
over the pulpit, word for word, leaving out only our name.
We had no one other than God to turn to and turn to Him we
did in earnest, heart rending prayer.
After a couple of years things became so bad that I began having mini
breakdowns. I lost the ability to eat
and lost a lot of weight in a short time.
My husband and I began discussing divorce as things that would have been
minor in our life previous to this began to take on immense proportions. The pressure and pain were almost
unbearable. I would find myself on the floor, sobbing
and begging the Lord to not let anything more come upon us. The very next
day something new in our life would fall apart.
Looking back now I can see that the Lord was tearing us down
so that we would be receptive to being built back up in the way He
desired. I learned just how prideful,
arrogant and judgmental I had been in my Pharisaical obedience. The one thing we had in this life was our
reputations. We are not a family of
wealth. We are not a family of worldly success.
We have nothing the world would look on to envy. The only thing we had was our reputation and
that was now in tattered ruin.
Slowly, the Lord began to work to wake us up to our awful
state. Slowly we began to open our
eyes. Slowly we began to understand the
false traditions that were keeping us from His presence. Slowly we were
learning to be free. Slowly we began to understand,
“Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say
all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.” Matthew 5:11
